“We are willing to spend five years in university learning for a career, so why do we think we don’t need to learn when it comes to raising children — the most important 18-year project of our lives?”
– Mr. Long, a parent from The Dewey Schools Tay Ho Tay, shared a reflection that deeply resonated with all parents attending the “Positive Parenting” course.
The “Positive Parenting” course has just reached its 8th session — a milestone where parents faced one of the most difficult challenges in parenting: managing anger.
Mr. Le Van Hao explained an important truth: when anger takes over, our brains switch into a primitive “fight or flight” mode. Out of love and intense concern, parents’ minds can sometimes function like a “radar,” exaggerating risks and catastrophizing every mistake their children make.
In those moments, even with good intentions, losing control can turn us into the people who hurt our children the most. Children are left confused by a painful contradiction: if this is love, why does it hurt so much? Only when we remain calm can we think wisely enough to find non-violent solutions that help children feel safe rather than fearful.
To manage anger effectively, the “Time-out” toolkit for parents was introduced as a practical strategy:
- Step away from the “hot zone”: temporarily remove yourself from the tense situation by getting a glass of water or moving to another space.
- Regulate your body: count from 1 to 10 or focus on deep breathing to regain emotional balance.
- Communicate honestly: calmly tell your child, “Mom/Dad is feeling very upset right now. I need a few minutes to calm down, then we can continue talking.”
When parents choose to “slow down for a moment,” connection is preserved. And only through connection can the true influence of education begin.
The 8-session journey at The Dewey Schools has been shaped by many heartfelt real-life experiences shared by parents. One example is Ms. Nga from The Dewey Ocean Park, who lives as far as Thanh Tri Bridge yet consistently traveled the long distance every week for the past eight weeks.
“I learned how to regulate my emotions in ways that suit my child. Only when I change positively can I guide my child toward good values without placing pressure on their emotional well-being.”
Mr. Long’s story from The Dewey Schools Tay Ho Tay brought another deeply emotional reflection. He shared how one evening he became irritated because his child kept delaying homework. But when he noticed the frustration and sadness on his child’s face, he suddenly realized that his child had also gone through a long and exhausting day at school. Instead of continuing to assert his authority as a father, he chose to apologize. The moment his child burst into tears after finally feeling understood became the clearest proof: when parents can control their anger, love finally has a safe place to stay.
Becoming a positive parent does not mean becoming perfect. It means continuously striving to understand your child with a calm and compassionate heart. Your calmness today may become the most valuable gift for your child’s mental well-being tomorrow.
